I’ve been a massage therapist for many years, now. I know what people look like. People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: a glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what you’d look like on my table.
Let’s start here with what nobody looks like: nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they don’t have plump round breasts and plump round asses. You have plump round breasts and a plump round ass, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. That’s how it works. And that’s very appealing too.
Woman have cellulite. All of them. It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush.
Men have silly buttocks. Well, if most of your clients are women, anyway. You come to male buttocks and you say — what, this is it? They’re kind of scrawny and the tissue is jumpy because it’s unpadded; you have to dial back the pressure, or they’ll yelp.
Adults sag. It doesn’t matter how fit they are. Every decade, an adult sags a little more. All of the tissue hangs a little looser. They wrinkle, too. I don’t know who put about the rumor that just old people wrinkle. You start wrinkling when you start sagging, as soon as you’re all grown up, and the process goes its merry way as long as you live. Which is hopefully a long, long time, right?
Everybody on a massage table is beautiful. There are really no exceptions to this rule. At that first long sigh, at that first thought that “I can stop hanging on now, I’m safe” – a luminosity, a glow, begins. Within a few minutes the whole body is radiant with it. It suffuses the room: it suffuses the massage therapist too. People talk about massage therapists being caretakers, and I suppose we are: we like to look after people, and we’re easily moved to tenderness. But to let you in on a secret: I’m in it for the glow.
I’ll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.”
Anonymous asked: Thank you so much. You've helped a lot.
Thank you for this :) and you’re welcome!
Anonymous asked: What was your grad school experience (applying, interviewing, the actual course work, everything!) like? I am planning--hoping--to go to grad school to become a therapist and it is so overwhelming and I'm just a little lost!
The experience was yes, a bit overwhelming; however, before applying to all of the schools that I liked I visited the schools and spoke with an admissions counselor. I made it a point to ask about class size, financial aid, length of time to finish the degree, amount of people who go on to finish the degree and become licensed, etc.. and took it from there. I applied to two schools and then settled on the one that felt like ‘the right fit’. I went to a small, private school and enjoyed it very much. The course work was definitely for graduate students (I could no longer swing an A with minimal effort) and you definitely have to stop on top of things. The experience with practicum (which lasted about a year) was perhaps the most difficult as you have to balance classes, work, and your practicum/internship hours on top of an additional class to go along with the internship.
As far as the process of becoming a therapist? Well, that’s quite a different a story and depending on where you’re from requirements may be different, so I would suggest researching or interviewing therapists in your area to ask them how they got to where they are.
Best of luck, Anon and I wish you the best in your future endeavors!!
Anonymous asked: Omg that last anon ask about sexuality and never having been attracted to s.o. and being terrified by the possibility of being gay... that's exactly how i feel! I've started talking to my t about this recently and it really helps sorting things out
Thank you for sharing! Very glad you have a T whom you can discuss this with!
There you go, earlier Anon:) I hope this helps too!
Anonymous asked: I had a very abusive childhood, I got abused in every way imaginable. I have "made it" by society's standards and have a job and graduated college. I went to therapy to help me with the anger, pain and sadness I felt and it helped me a lot. I am in a better place. Every day is a struggle but I'm strong enough to live every day. One thing I've never been able to shake has been that when someone breaks their word it devastates me. I don't know how to forgive people who break a promise. Help?
I am very sorry that you had to endure all that you mention in your message, and kudos to you for getting the help you deserve to work through and get to where you are now!
As far as forgiving people who break a promise? I guess that depends on the kind of promise; however, I personally deal with it by reminding myself that nobody is perfect and that sometimes things happen. Now, if this person continually breaks promises, then I make it a point to trust them a bit less (especially with my feelings/expectations). I do this to protect myself, because yeah, broken promises cause heartache, and heartache is hard to deal with- as you mention it can be devastating. Most often the devastation comes from the expectation we placed on the person… so it has helped to be realistic about certain people who break their word time and time again, and forgive those who truly didn’t mean any harm.
It also helps to remind myself of times when I couldn’t keep my word, so that I can be graceful toward others. I have also found that being assertive and asking for an explanation (politely) about what happened helps to deal with the devastation since at least I have something to go off rather than overthinking the situation and attributing the broken promise to something terrible or blaming it on myself.
I hope this helps and makes sense:)